Derrick's Blog

I can't believe it! I've got some kind of dread infection, and have spent the whole day lying in bed on a valium-induced cloud. It feels like a setback to three or four months ago when I was really ill and I'm now worried that it will be permanent. The doctors here assure me that I'll be OK in the next day or two.

My release date approaches. It's now going to be Thursday. I think things at home are manic. The shower pod arrived back on Thursday. With much building work going on, I've decided not to go home this weekend, which was lucky as I've now developed this infection.

I have PA coming who will be looking after me for the first three weeks. She's called Lenka and has had lots of experience looking after spinal patients and used to be a nanny so can help look after my children.

The kids have started a new school and they are both surprising us by being very keen to go. Both of them are enthusiastic about sports their new lessons and have made lots of friends and Lisu is having trouble getting them to leave in the evening. When they get home they go and see all their old friends. I didn't have that much fun when I was at school. In fact, I don't think I had any fun when I was at school.

Sorry guys, due to excessive illness, my brain's shutting down. I'll have to sign off.

Derrick [typed by Tim].

We are back to the patchy internet service again. In fact none at all until earlier this week and then only patchy bits. I’ve just managed to read the previous entry and all of your comments and I’m a bit miffed to realise that I can’t really add much significant progress to my last entry. I still spend my time attempting to get onto that elbow and trying to stand up. Standing up has improved in that I have managed to stand up without the framework or having my leg bandaged out straight. But I still can’t get from sitting to standing without help.

I had a long weekend in the bungalow. The family stayed through to Tuesday as the kids are on half term. Isobel and I cooked Sunday lunch in the “accessible” kitchen. We had snow and the kids played in it, made snowmen. I could tuck the kids in and read them stories in their “accessible” bedroom. All jolly good fun.

My care package has been agreed. I get a live-in PA, who’s supposed to be “my hands” and will be certified safe around the children. I should be able to get up at a sensible time in the morning and start to do some more kiddie duties. Just in case you don’t realise what a big deal the care package is, many people who go home without such a package would have to rely on district nurses and non-specialist carers as I have been doing for my weekend visits. With this arrangement, I’m never in a wheelchair before 11:30 am and have to go to bed at 8:30pm and the carers will nothing more than basic washing dressing tasks. I’m hoping with a live-in PA to be able to make more use of my life.

House modifications. I may have mentioned this before. We’re solving the bathroom, or lack-of, problem by having a pod fitted to the patio doors. This should have been a relatively low-hassle way of solving my short-term accommodation problem. Everything was looking fine. The pod arrived a week ago and was craned into position, with all the building works completed on time, and all was looking well. However, when Lisu looked inside the pod, she pointed out that the material used for the walls, which is a board specifically designed for shower walls, was not joined particularly well. When I’ve used this material for showers, in the past, you can’t see a join. The joins of the boards used in the pod are irregular and rough. Lisu asked them to guarantee that this would be waterproof and haggled for a discount, but they will not guarantee it as waterproof, so the entire thing is being taken away again and refitted. This a really bad outcome because instead of having two weeks to sort the house after the pod had been installed, Lisu will have two day if we are lucky. Which only goes to prove that no amount of forward planning can protect you.

I’m still in my nice little room, and still going home on the 30th, which I’m really excited about. I’m dying to get back to the family, although it’s all a bit scary with a PA living with us in the house sorting out how that’s going to work.

Now to all the great commentators. I’m sorry I haven’t a clue who Mrs Trellis is. I’m glad to see the Twinning banter continuing. I hope Dave still has all his digits and a cap to put them it. I’m delighted to hear from Pat. Go on, overcome your fear of the internet. And can you recommend any good books on mp3. I’m still having a job picking the old-fashioned things up. I really felt all those good vibes coming. You should see my elbow now. It’s blooming sore!

Hope this post creeps out onto the net. Love you all. See you soon,

Derrick [typed by Tim].

I’ve changed wards. I’m now in the rehab ward which in practice means I have to get up earlier and stay up later. I moved last Sunday morning - the first thing I knew about it was six o’clock in the morning when one of the nurses came in and said goodbye to me very sincerely, more than you would expect if you were going to see them again tomorrow. So I asked her if she was leaving and she said "no you are". Apparently the move was diaried on Friday to fit in with the hospital’s schedule. However no one thought to tell the patient. One of the other chaps who moved the same time as me found out at 12 o’clock and we moved at about two, so I guess I was lucky. The benefits of this ward are that it’s quieter, ie. the nurses are quieter, and they are all nice.

I’m definitely leaving Stoke Mandeville on 30th April. This is the last delay, honest guv.

Today’s gym achievement was to go from lying on my back, rolling onto my side, shuffling my legs off the edge of the exercise bench, and rolling onto my elbow. It’s the rolling onto the elbow bit that’s new. As in most of these things, I didn’t believe it when I did it. I can’t yet get onto the elbow position to sitting, but when I can, I should be able to get from lying down to sitting in my wheelchair.

Last week I did a bit more walking, but instead of going for distance, I tried to stand up straight without holding onto the sides of the walking frame. I could manage fractions of a second, well maybe a second or two. But nevertheless that’s real standing up! Rather like my lying-to-sitting skills, there’s a big gap in my sitting to standing skills. When I’m sitting, I can push with my legs and get my bottom a little off the seat, but in order to stand up I have to be positioned so that I’m almost standing anyway. However, I can now picture how I might get from lying down to standing up. It simply remains to get on and do it.

That’s all folks,

Derrick (typed by Tim).

PS. Don’t forget to leave your comments, even if just to say "hello" (or expletive of your choice).

Current Mood: flatulent

Seriously good gig last Friday. Many thanks to the bands, everyone who sold tickets, and everyone who bought them. I’m  flattered that so many people came and so many people worked so hard to arrange it all. Rumours of my drunkenness have been grossly exaggerated. I only drank three pints, honest guv. But my tolerance isn’t what it used to be.  It was absolutely fantastic and overwhelming to see so many of you after all these months.

The latest rumour here is that I’ll be going home at the end of April. Nobody’s made any official announcement about this – that would be asking too much.

Funny tale: without being too critical, there are some members of staff here who like to tell you what to do. One of these dear sweet ones actually told me that my space was untidy and that I should tidy it up obviously without realising the irony of this statement. I told her dryly that it was the first on my list when I got up.

Goldfish memory. All of the staff suffer from this and I’m catching it.

The team now state their objective is getting my transfers (bottom slinging – see previous entry) as good as possible before I go in April, but not worrying so much about my walking. Ie. They don’t think I’m going to be walking. They say they’ll have me back later (after being home for a while) to concentrate on the walking. This news isn’t entirely to my liking but I have to get out of here or I’ll go nuts sometime soon.

The day before yesterday, I did a round of the hospital on a handbike, which is a tricycle with hand operated pedals. Consequently I’m extremely knackered and my arms ache. So, must sign off. See you all again soon.

Derrick (typed by Tim).

Current Mood: flamboyant

Last week I managed a record breaking walking attempt from the gym to the ward. For those of you who haven't visited me, that's a long way! And when I say walking, it involved the aforementioned large piece of hardware and two physiotherapists. However it appears to have caused a bit of a stir with my nursing staff, who didn't believe me. And it may possibly have delayed my departure. Is that a good thing? To explain the dilema, you have to imagine all that's worst in school dinners and large institutions and the effect this may have on the semi-sentient being, versus a shot at getting up and walking. Quite obviously the walking wins, but institutionalisation ain't easy to bear either.

More good news: I can transfer (get me bum from wheelchair to bed) reasonably well now. This opens up all sorts of new possibilities. For instance, when the family visited this weekend and stayed in a local hotel, I managed to lie on the bed and watch Shrek whilst eating pizza with the children. Whereas before, I'd have had to sit in the wheelchair all evening.

There is a downside to all this. I have now been using a heavy-weight wheelchair which allows me to get my feet on the floor for transfers etc, but which I can hardly push.

What is the meaning of life, Derrick? [sez Tim] Well, I don't know. I'm just trying to be philosophical after all. Could it be pizza and Shrek? I seem to remember early on when I could scarcely move that one useful thing to do with a long time in bed would be to educate myself. By which I mean do the poets and um find out what philiosophy really is and ponder on the space-time continuum. However what I've really been doing is watching Sopranos, Veronica Mars, Heroes, and Spaced. You can see a trend here. It must be said that it's all your dear editor's fault for allowing me access to trash telly and not limiting me to educational material [except Sopranos, which I didn't lend him, and is quality -ed].

More next time Tim [or anyone else -ed] visits,
Derrick [typed by Tim].

Current Mood: achey

The network has been down for a whole week - or at least since Tim came last time [not my fault! -ed]. So what have I done?

I have now got enough grip in my left hand (with a big bit of squidgy plastic around it) to eat my dinner. Or I suppose for any number of purposes. I've now got 7 weeks to go before being discharged unless they decide I'll benefit from a bit longer in here. I don't think I've got many more muscles back but I'm gradually getting stronger. Work in the gym is focused on getting from lying down to sitting. There's still a bit gap. The aim of this would be to do so from the bed. But it's much harder on the bed and I can't do it in the gym anyway. We are also working on trying to stand up and walk a bit in the large baby walker. I'm sure there's loads of other things but I can't think of them now [says Derrick as he swigs water from a bottle, held in his hand. -ed] It occurs to me that the same grip would work for a bottle of beer. Last weekend, I managed to pick up a wine glass and drink from it without spilling any - wine tastes so much better when not drunk through a straw.

Despite Lisu's valiant efforts to get everything sorted for me to go home well ahead of time, a massive tangle of bureaucracy has ensured that my washing facilities might possibly just be ready in time, perhaps. My care package may happen if everyone takes pity on me and we may find an agency to actually do the caring who we like and who will be ready in time. [Derrick would have put in many more praises of Lisu's effort's, but Tim can't face writing nice stuff about his sister. -ed]

I've been out for two curries now, actually at a restaurant. Thanks to Mark and Simon who often run me back to hospital after I've been home.

I'm still trying to deal with the results of my request for more music. I've now got 65 GB of music (about a month's continuous listening!) which is proving a tad challenging for me to sort out. But don't let this discourage anybody from giving me more :-) Due to the aforementioned network problem, I haven't had much of a chance to look for much of interest on the internet, but I did look at the dancing skeleton on YouTube (v funny, credits Mojo).

- Derrick [typed by Tim, posted later because the network had gone down again by the time we finished typing!]

Your editor this evening is a Volvo driver. Can you guess who he is? Does he wear a cloth cap (why am I typing this? ed). Does he accelerate on straights so that you can't overtake, but go slowly round the bends so as not to upset his sherry. I can't believe he's actually writing this....

Seriously now, thanks for all those positive vibes. The editor believes it's all nonsense, but I feel better anyway. Just had a good curry - most of which is on my bed sheets and my shirt (thanks for the towel, Martyn).

Sad news from home ... Gilbert is dead. At least I think he was called Gilbert. And I think he might have been a he ... Excessive rainfall caused localised flooding in the chimney area (again). The resulting sooty water found its way into Gilbert's tank (there's your first clue). An army spokesman said he fought bravely, but in the end his chips were up, and he couldn't avoid his watery grave. Fortunately he would have had no recollection of the watery ingress, since his memory span had always been limited to about 5 seconds. Phoebe was most upset about all of this, and horrified at the scale (there's your second clue) of the catastrophe. He will be posthumously awarded a gold star (your third clue) for his sturgeon efforts (go on, you must have got it by now). Floating merrily on .....  I realise that this may come as a shock to some of you with whom he formerly served (at least I think he's a he).

Anyway, just 'cos I've cheered up a bit, don't stop sending the positive vibes, cos they're clearly working. In fact, what we should do is increase the intensity so that I can get up again ....  I'm bored of being a seated person with knackered hands now.

You'll be pleased to know that, mentally, I'm still refusing to come to terms with the fact that I've broken myself. Or at least when I do accept it, I get miserable (like my last post - or should that be 'the last post'?) So it's best not to accept it and that way I can stay cheerful. Denial is not just a river in Egypt.

Knock knock
Who's there?
Cowsgo.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo.
(ed).

Why can't you play cards in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs!

(Both of the above courtesy of a 6 year old brain - no, not the editor).

By the way, has anyone worked out what a larfgood is yet?

So long, and thanks for all the fish (your fourth and final clue). (PS don't talk about this at school  or you'll upset Phoebe some more).

Current Mood: recumbent

Many happy Christmases of the thunderous New Year to you all!

First off, forgive me it has been a month since my last blog entry. And what a hectic month it has been. The major event being an eleven day home visit. Lots of time spent with my lovely family. I think spent most of the time sleeping and am now worried that I now lack the enthusiasm to do anything when I go home permanently. But I hope it was just a well-earned rest.

It was a particularly nice Christmas with the children. At 5 and 8, they are both at the right ages to enjoy Christmas as I fondly remember it - a magic time. At New Year, I was feeling too rough to go out partying and so spent the evening in with the children and let them stay up till midnight, whereupon we turned off the lights and opened the blinds, watched the fireworks while sat watching stuff on the telly till midnight and the children jumped up and down shouting "Happy New Year!".

However all that resting business is in the past now. My nose is back to the grindstone and I feel that I am beginning to recover from the Christmas malaise. Physio-wise we're pushing hard trying to get me to stand - or maybe even walk! - however it takes a large steel framework and two physios to stop me from collapsing. And I can't be absolutely sure that I'm not getting weaker. OT-wise (Occupational Therapy), I had some cooking practice on Friday. With a fair bit of help, I filled a jug with some water, got someone to pour it into the kettle. turned on the kettle myself, put a tea bag in the cup using a complicated kettle swivel, poured some water in the cup. Then made some toast, buttered it, a put some jam on it. Watch out Nigella, here I come!

I'm now using my fabulous new laptop to watch crazy things on YouTube. YouTube fans: look at Japanese Bottle Launcher. Credits to Richard Smith. Although my typing is appalling, I'm now able to push enough buttons for internet surfing, picking up my mail, watching movies, and attempting to sort out my iTunes, which has 17 things called "Track 1" (name no names!).

I feel that recently I'm starting to lose my positive thinking resolve. Strangely, I think this is because I don't feel as ill and am better able to comprehend the enormity of what I've done to myself. So, I need all your positive vibes more than ever. Keep them coming!

Hopefully if Tim can bear to keep coming to see me, we can get back to our weekly blog entries,
Derrick [typed by Tim].

We didn't foresee the eventuality of a girl winning this competition, let alone my wife, but it appears my wife has a wife! Otherwise she couldn't have won. I look forward to meeting this truly accomplished and incredible woman, but an explanation is required please Lisu. Maybe she took too much Medised...

Anyway, obviously this quiz was far too easy. Initially we actually favoured the answer '4' - and '42' was pretty good as well - but on debate we have to agree that 'blowing in the wind' is the correct answer. Bob said so. 

Lisu here is your prize:
[drum roll]

Your wife is more radiant than a thousand camels and more accomplished at household duties than a troupe of Kurdistani dancing goat.

 
And we can offer the rest of you the following runner's up prize:
[kazoo roll]

Your mistress is more radiant than nine hundred and ninety nine camels and almost as accomplished at household duties than a troupe of Kurdistani dancing snail.

Due to comments about us dwelling on 'old music' and my new found access to the internet, as well as time to waste looking at Youtube, we move on a few decades and drop the idea of questions altogether as you're all too clever anyway. If you can be bothered, type Mattafix into Youtube and tell me what you think (especially the Dafur video). With the above access to the internet let me know if there's anything that's stirred you guys because I always want to hear new stuff. 

Fair play to Youtube, I've also been able to research my next sport: BASE jumping! The consultant now says, in his wonderfully optimistic way, that I should be able to take a few steps - luckily that's all that's needed for this new sport!

Anyway, I expect you're all getting bored of quizzes and trivia and you would all like to know a bit more about life in the hospital. Well I must say: after five months, the novelty is beginning to wear off. What has happened in the last week? Stood up, passed out, same old story - although my tolerance is improving. They just took my blood pressure at 128 over 74 (that is after watching BASE jumping videos - I'll have suggest to the physio that I watch some more before standing). The consultant had mentioned today that somebody mentioned today that my spirits must be down because I'm less sarcastic...me sarcastic?! How dare they slander my character so! Ironic maybe... 

I don't think I've got any new movement back and I'm still having some very rough days, but on the whole I feel I'm generally getting a bit stronger as time goes on. 

Anyhow, I must get on now because Richard (faithful typist .ed) has to catch a bus.

Current Mood: absurd

The man at the wheel tonight ,and your cheerful editor for the evening, is none other than the famous Simon Fox (cringe - Ed)!

Still havent got the voice recognition stuff going,  well havent tried actually - too busy sleeping.

Not going to tell you the answer to the quiz yet -  so keep on guessing.

I have no idea what Medised is, but it seems to work for my family. Can you take it with alcohol ?!

Looking forward to going home more often now that  I am not reliant on the Mr.Magoo van. Lisu is not a big fan of driving long distances in the dark, but fortunately Simon and Mark have offered their luxury Euro-barges for the purpose.  Finally their bizarre penchant for large continental taxis is proving to be of some use !

Shame my 205 GTI is no longer available for me to show that I could get in and out of it.

Had to notify DVLA of the accident, they have sent through a form wanting to know what adaptations I will need when I get out of here. This is proving to be a tough one because nobody knows  just how good I am going to get. DVLA want me to surrender my licence (just like Dirty Harry and his badge) lest I should leap in a car and tear up the streets of Aylesbury . Ironically  I am now totally reformed from my  former bad petrol head ways (except of course when I was carrying children - legal disclaimer - Ed). So they are closing the gate after the large woolly sheep has bolted !

Now we are going to try to respond to some of your comments, so have a look and see if we have.

Current Mood: aggravated

Competition time!!!!!!!!

Well done Ian Davis of Bognor Regis who wins last week’s musical quiz by being the first to get Lloyd Cole from the ridiculously small amount of lyrics.

You win the opportunity to watch me spill juice all over myself in the cafe...again.

Next week’s winner will win this compliment:

You’re wife is more radiant than a thousand camels and more accomplished at household duties than a troup of kurdistani dancing goat.

Q: How many roads must a man walk down?

Went home last weekend for the first time in a normal car. I got into our car at this end with much appreciated help because it’s a complicated process that involves a (smooth) plank and much shuffling and shoving. Lesson learnt on the way back though, bucket seats are for experienced types only!

This message is being typed on a brand new notebook (by Richard ed). I haven’t got the voice recognition going so far. I tried to write this message using it, but it doesn’t know me well enough yet. Other than that it’s way too good for me – loads of bells and whistles: You can play DVDs without even booting up the computer, it has a pop-out remote control among other things.

Quiz bonus question:

Who is this famous person?: Alfonzo (not Manuel...)

Come visit me to find out.

Derrick’s Christams list:

New front teeth

Right leg

Left leg

New hands

Control of bladder

One thousand Camels

Derricks Dream:

I dreamt I was sliding slowly out of the bed feet first whilst one of the nurses stood looking out of the window with her back to me. No amount of trying to shout produced any noise. So this was probably significant in many ways, but mostly it was the first dream I’ve had in which I couldn’t walk.

It is old news now but we went on a Jimmy Saville hunt a while ago. He visits the hospital quite often and has reportedly raised over £18million for the hospital in his life. I asked for his signature for the girls, but he replied that all children should be eaten. I’m not sure if he was being serious, but he signed it anyway while exposing an obscene amount of chest and gold for an 80 year old.

Yet again: sorry for not responding personally to any comments, but this will have to wait until I have formed a better relationship with the voice recognition software.

Luv Des

Current Mood: Chirpy

I've got flexion as well as extension on my wrists. Hands up who knows what that means. The back cleared up without any problems. Hopefully a few less pain receptors helps my back recover more quickly. Somehow I managed to transfer from one of the exercise benches in the gym across to the wheelchair by semi-standing and then sitting down again. The physio made out it was mostly me, but I have no idea how I did it. My major aim at the moment is to transfer from the wheelchair to a car seat, ie slide my bum across a board, as this would be a major freedom to get out, energy and drivers permitting.

Can't log on here [need a new wireless key - ed], so can't reply to your individual comments right now, but I have managed to read them, and it's fabulous to hear how things are going for you guys out there. Tim will be posting this when he gets home.

I am on the snorathon unit here. Bizarre shiftings of time and people seem to have resulted in a parallel universe where everyone snores exuberantly. Not always in English! I'm sure I'm included in this, though blissfully ignorant, though with all four of us going its enough to rival a Vulcan bomber in a vertical climb. For those of you who haven't had the pleasure of seeing this particular military extravaganza, a massive delta wing Concorde-shaped plane with more engine power than your average power station. It required an extremely long runway to land and take off. Many years ago I visited an air show at Staverton and one of these came in with landing gear down to cries of "you can't land that here!". The plane touched down and immediately turned into a vertical climb, which probably broke windows for many miles around. Anyway, that's what it's like in here! At times I can imagine I'm lying in bed in a tube station in London. I really don't know how I'll sleep again when all is quiet and I'm at home.

I ate a whole bag of crisps today. I picked each one up and put it in my mouth with my own fingers, with no help apart from someone opening the bag at the start. That took an hour! Now even I think I'm making progress. Thanks to mum for the crisps.

Tim's ordered the exciting new laptop (Tim won't consider Macs, because he doesn't know anything about them, and as he's doing the ordering, a PC it is). Regarding Pink Floyd, it's the pre-Roger Waters dominance, the hippy flouncy Pink Floyd I'm missing.

There's a trace of a song going through my head which I can't identify (not Pink Floyd). '80s, male singer. "she did this, she did that,... I'm way past caring". Ring any bells to anybody? As you can see, I've got too much time on my hands, but at least I'm regaining a healthy interest in music. Keep all the modern stuff coming too. Tim's going to put it on my iPod, honest. Hope to be able to combine this with transferring all of my iTunes to the new laptop and a complete overhaul of my music collection.

Through an interesting turn of fate I wheeled into a nearly empty TV room just in time for the two minutes' silence for Remembrance Day, which we duly observed together. And then dispersed and went our separate ways.

- Derrick [typed by Tim].

A curious thing about me, and perhaps about people in general, is that despite making progress I feel that the improvements I'm making merely accentuate how much I need to do to get anywhere near back to normal. The realisation of the enormity of this task stretches positive thinking beyond its sensible limits.

Referring back to last week's blog, the physio had me doing a forward bend, which would have taken me 3/4 hour of yoga to warm up for before the accident, I was stranded on an exercise table with my legs stretched out in front of me and my arms hooked under my knees for some time. If I'd let go, I'd have fallen flat on my back with an undignified thump, so I hung on. But now, my back hurts. Some would have it that this is not entirely a bad thing, because any pain I can feel means a nerve connection - this means less possibility of damaging myself inadvertently. It would be nice if some pleasant sensations got through too.

Having the brace off is indeed a mixed blessing. I can scarcely remember what having it on felt like now and I'm reluctant to try it on to see, but I've found loads of new muscles that really hurt. Am I going on too much about things hurting - sorry.

Still, mustn't grumble. Reasons to be cheerful, part 5.

1. I'm suffering from musical senility here, recalling music from years ago, such as Ian Dury and Pink Floyd. Has anybody got these on CD (hope Mr Apple's not listening!).

2. We've started exciting shopping for a new laptop. Somewhat goaded on by Tim.

3. Going home for Christmas looks likely, though how I get there seems uncertain.

4. Lots of blog comments - keep them coming.

5. It's not yet frozen up north.

6. Tim brought an Indian takeaway when he came to visit me (hint hint)

7. Watched some really good clouds this afternoon and slept thought all of King Lear, so I can listen to it again, having first gained subliminal exposure.

Next week I have my long-awaited discharge planning meeting (no quips about my discharges, please!), where members of my hospital team and the community team will get together with me and hazard a guess at when I may leave here.

- Derrick [typed by Tim]

Current Mood: happy cheery coz you care

In case any of you don't know, I've had a chest brace on since the accident. This is intended to support my T8 fracture. This was supposed to come off the month before last, then the beginning of this month - both times the consultant checked the scan and said it had to stay on. This morning I had another scan, met with the consultant, and he said I could take it off. The physio then celebrated by making me sit upright, whilst looking at myself in a mirror - this is no mean feat as I am severely banana shaped! The physio has been waiting for this brace to come off for months so now she'll proceed to work me even harder.

The other big news is I went home for the weekend. We had a fantastic time and I got to have lots of great food, including a fish pie and a real curry and a glass of wine! And lots of time with my family. It's been really hard to be back at hospital now but I'll have to carry on my rehab so that I'll be a bit more use when I return home properly. I got to see all the wonderful new roads. Finally something to show for all the tax we pay.

I finally finished Harry Potter. All those of you reading it to your children, be warned: it gets quite scary towards the end.

Nobody has yet managed to make top-level entry! Due to this, we're going to have to offer a prize to the first person who manages to do it. Can any of you remember what the password is - you'll have to come and see me again if you've forgotten. Otherwise, please keep the comments coming (which don't need a password or login).

Apologies to whoever visited me at the weekend. Please reply and tell me who you were. In my defence, the Calendar did say I'd be away then. If you can't access it, please contact John at derrickashdown.com.

Current Mood: bullish this week

The mental honeymoon period appears to be coming to an end. Lately I find myself confused and befuddled [didn't stop him knowing what a grimalkin was - see this cool quiz - ed]. I suspect this may be due to prolonged exposure to Harry Potter having listened to The Half-Blood Prince and half of The Deathly Hallows back-to-back. All very entertaining, but not a patch on BBC World Service. Tim's response to this is to give me Politics Today, in an effort to bring my focus closer to home. Who's the Prime Minister now, by the way?

Huge big thanks to everyone who's helped Lisu with the office installation/move. She has shown herself to be an exceptionally good project manager [my sister, no! ed]. Now there's nothing at all that I could have done better than she can. Oh what it is to be continuously to be outshone by one's spouse [I really am not believing this of my sister - ed].

I did lots of standing up today. About 25 minutes in all with a small break for dizziness in the middle. This was in no way due to any muscle power on my part, as my legs were bandaged out straight to prevent my knees collapsing. Think back to the Frankenstein's monster movies and you have got it in one. Thank goodness there wasn't anyone to take a photo. The exercise was intended to improve my tolerance to standing up rather than to test my legs. The physiotherapists are moderately optimistic that I'll be able to stand up for longer sometime soon.

This standing up completely changed my mood from grumpy and disheartened to bullish and elated. A more adult response would be to take a more measured view on life and moderate ones moods, whereas I fell a bit like a child in that my mood swings are immediate a severe. Sounds like a good excuse to see the pretty psychiatrist, but she might spot the ruse!

Woops, battery about to go, and to quote one of my neighbours "help somebody"...

- Derrick (typed by Tim).

Current Mood: mustn't grumble

This week we had a family visit to the bungalow which was great fun (just to explain, the bungalow is a self-contained wheelchair-accessible facility in the grounds of the hospital. You can be on your own but with staff available if necessary). We all had an opportunity to see what life will be like when I get home.

Then on Tuesday I actually went home to Greenway and checked out that we can actually get me and wheelchair into the house. This was also a success and I met with all the local community care people. The children took the day off school and we are now all set for me to make a proper weekend home visit.

Tuesday was one of those wet horrible days, so I managed to spend the journey both ways with heaps of drizzle and loads of traffic jams. So now I know that I'm not missing out on the fun of driving!

I have managed more walking in the swimming school with lots of help. Although standing up in the shallow end proved to be extremely difficult. I have not had any more opportunities to try standing up in the gym, despite having a completely full timetable. So I'll let you know when I finally take my first steps on dry land. I generally feel I am getting a bit stronger. But all the progress I make seems to reveal yet more work to be done. Rather like any job, I suppose. Best to focus on the path ahead, not the top of the mountain, or else you think you can't do it.

Woops, more philosophical stuff.

Sorry, guys, not feeling quite so lyrical this week. Keep your comments coming. I'd love to know what's going on in the big wide world out there.

-- Derrick (typed by Tim).

Current Mood: resigned

I am sure you can all picture yourself in hospital. The beds are on wheels. All of your possessions are easily portable. I have dug myself into a corner with a window and view of the courtyard and have lots of things stuck on  the wall. I imagine this is the only reason that I have remained in the same place for quite some time now. The same cannot be said for the other inhabitants of the ward. I quite frequently return from a day in the gym with completely new neighbours. And this makes me think of the original film of the Time Machine, where he sits in his machine and the world rushes by while I stand still. This makes me think of another time-related issue from being in here. Because I can only push myself very slowly in a wheel chair, I find myself alarmed at the speed of which traffic moves in the car park and positively terrified the time we went out in a taxi. Thus it is with some apprehension that I look forward to the trip for a first peek at the house next week.

Another thought that springs to mind as I lie here is a fundamental change that has come about as a result of my accident. No, not another finger movement or triceps flicker, this one's to do with having lots of time to think. Much as I enjoy work [snicker, ed] I found that it soaks up all my mental capacity (not being very clever [not so, ed]) it has only left me with capacity for physical exercise as an escape. Now however, I spend all day doing physical exercise and find myself with lots of spare mental capacity. Thus I've been churning through lots of back issues of BBC World Service From our Own Correspondent, In Business, In Our Time, Front Row Interview etc as podcasts. I now have a pretty good overview of American Politics, some African Politics, development of Kazakhstan (sp? think of Borat), the best in world education, interesting Scottish Authors [just tested him on President of South Africa and Speaker of the US House and he didn't know, so take this with a pinch of salt, ed]. Quiz: what shape is the centre piece built in the new capital of Kazakhstan to represent the state? It is a big egg, which represents regeneration and rebirth.

By the way I don't really think you're having awkward thoughts (in my last post) - that was the voice recognition software. I meant, of course, "good thoughts".

Hopefully at some stage I'll be able to drive the PC well enough to personally respond to all of your comments. In the meantime, please keep them coming as I really appreciate them (and it makes Tim jealous because I get more hits than his blog).

Another thought: describe an awkward thought. Tricky, isn't it?

Something I'm a little worried about with all these reports of my progress is that it actually proceeds at snail's pace and I may not be climbing mountains when I get out. I'm a little worried that people's expectations of me when I leave here may be a little higher than I actually achieve and I'm setting myself up to disappoint you all. Picture something Frankenstein made and you may be nearer the mark!

The normal idea of a blog is that I make these diary entries and other people can comment. But as I can't usually do that myself, it would be nice if, sometimes when people visit me, they can make an original top-level post (with password supplied when you are here) with their views of what happened that day and then others can comment on those. Alternatively, if you bring a laptop, I can dictate to you as I am at the moment (assuming I can find the network password again!)

- Derrick (typed by Tim).

Hello everyone.  Thanks he will support new entries in the blog.  I'm typing this using some voice recognition software.  So makes more sense than previously.  However, I've no one at a time, having spent the entire listen only how to use it.  So I don't have time to say much more.  However next lesson will read all your comments carefully and reply to you.  Again thanks to helping in awkward thoughts everyone. 

Overwhelmed by all of you being so supportive. It's really helping me in here to think of you all out there wishing me well (hopefully!).

This week I have stood up 5 times. And blacked out 5 times straight away! Got all the fingers on my left hand moving a bit, but not strongly enough to pick something up. Right hand has index finger and thumb going, as before. Still being driven hard by Frances my physio (personal trainer) and Susie my OT (occupational therapist).

All the personal visits are really appreciated - those of you who can get here, and your positive thoughts, those of you who can't..

Tim will explain again how to log on.

- Derrick (typed by Tim).

 heello ts dderrick 
cant stt433y


need headsey65